A Struggle With Temper

Can you control your anger? For me, it has always been a struggle. I don’t lash out at people. I swore long ago never to raise my hand unless it was in self-defense, but objects have paid the price: phones, walls, even a laptop once. I’ve broken more than I care to admit. Each time, I’m left staring at the wreckage, ashamed and regretful, asking myself why I let anger win again.

Astrology and the Long Fuse

According to Chinese astrology, I have a long fuse. Most of the time, that feels true. I can stay calm for long stretches, even in stressful situations. But when that fuse finally burns out, the flame at the end can be destructive. That image alone makes me pause and rethink how I deal with my temper. Do I want to be remembered for the times I lost control, or for the times I mastered it?

The Role of Love and Patience

Over the years, I’ve made progress. I’ve learned to pause, breathe, and walk away. Yet progress alone isn’t the finish line. I want mastery. And here’s where love and patience come in. Conne, with her calm presence, has been my anchor. She reminds me that self-control is not just about holding back—it’s about choosing a better response. Her patience has softened my rough edges and made me want to be better.

Grace and the Journey Ahead

Still, I know willpower alone won’t carry me through. I lean on God’s grace to fill the gaps where I fall short. With His help, and with the love and patience that surround me, I believe I can cross the finish line. I believe I can master this part of myself, not just for my own sake, but for the people I love most.

To Conne: I love you, and I’m sorry.